Honestly, my mind is in a jumble. I’ve met a couple people in my life where the connection was unreal.
One was a married guy, so that stopped as soon as I found out.
Second was the motorcycle guy.
Before we even met, there was such a connection. Sharing secrets, dreams, finishing each other’s thoughts. When we met, I was drawn to him. He had this energy that made me feel more alive. It was contagious. We spent a lot of time together that first week. Talked a lot. Texted when we could. Then over the course of a couple weeks, I felt him pulling back.
Still calling me pet names, still making plans. But we hadn’t seen each other in two weeks and he wasn’t reaching out to me like he was doing. Quick conversations, if any at all. But sweet during that time.
I’m not a “what are we?” type girl. I don’t need that. What I need is a little more attention and a little more reassurance that you want this. I’m not trying to rush anything but it’s hard for me to go backwards. I, at least, want to know that you want to see me. I want to know if you think about me. I want some cute, sweet shit.
Y’all. I love hard. And this wasn’t love, I know that. But I could see myself eventually loving him. Maybe it was the way he made me feel – he had the same mindset that I did. I wanted to go on adventures with him and be lazy with him. I wanted him to do his thing and me do mine. I was never distrusting or suspicious, something in me just trusted him. And I still do.
The universe gives us exactly what we need right now. With that being said, he helped me change my way of thinking. To realize that we get back what we put in. That realization helped me realize my purpose in life and new long term goals. That realization helped me realize that I’m in so much control of what happens to me.
And I have him to thank.
The universe brings you the things that you need right now. Maybe I needed him to guide me to that concept. But maybe that’s all the purpose he had for me. Without even knowing it (lord, no I didn’t share with him that he helped me discover my purpose! Cue crazy haha) he brought something new an fresh into my life that I needed.
So now we are at the part of the story where I figure out if that was it or if the universe has so much more planned. I have such peace knowing that if that’s all that evolved out of us, then I’m okay with that. But I also have a gut feeling that someone who had such an impact, in such a short amount of time, needs to stay in my life longer. I think of the possibilities and can only hope that I have someone, with such great energy, come into my life like this again.