With motorcycle guy currently on hold (because who tf knows what he’s doing- I’ll touch on that later) I have found myself really liking this other guy (you’ll see The Teacher later on, when I learn a lesson and I’m not so damn giddy).
First though, let me tell you what I’m used to when it comes to other girls when I’m dating someone:
1. They claim they don’t see other girls..
🙄 like, I know you see them. It’s okay to see them. They exist.
2. They don’t say anything about other girls and think I don’t notice them checking out girls as they walk by..
3. They tell me they wish I looked like some girl..
That’s a big “fuuuuuuuuccckkkk youuuuuuu”.
Then there’s what the teacher is doing and it’s throwing me off a little.. he blatantly tells me if he thinks a girl is attractive but he also tells me how into me he is.
Raised around mostly women, I’m starting to think that he does what I do – I appreciate women’s beauty and move on. I don’t dwell on how other women look or compare myself. If I see a gorgeous girl then I go out of my way to let her know she’s gorgeous, makes her day, makes me feel good for making another feel good, and we continue on.
Can guys actually operate in the same way?
He’s been nothing but respectful. Complete gentleman. Has girls that are friends. Very open and honest about them too.
At first, I found myself thinking “wtf did he just say to me?” “Is he being for real right now?” “How fucking rude..”. But then I really thought about it.
Women are raised to see other women as competitors for men (this is slowly changing but still accurate for my generation though we are outgrowing our teachings). We compete with each other for the attention of men. Men on the other hand are taught to compete in school, sports, in the business world, everywhere.
Is this why we are deemed crazy for our jealousy and/or insecurities?
I know guys that are jealous and insecure, don’t get me wrong. But it’s as though they know how to play it off sooooo much better than us women. Maybe because they have become accustom to constantly having competition? I don’t know.
At any rate. For a brief second, I found myself comparing myself to that other girl. Then I stopped myself. Why would I compare what I have to offer to her? Why would I doubt myself just because of a guy’s opinion. She was cute and I would’ve said the same shit. So I re-evaluated myself.
Jealousy and insecurities stem from not really knowing and appreciating yourself. You have to fully love yourself before you can really have a healthy relationship. I think we all go through moments where we question ourselves, where we hate our thighs or notice our crooked smile and cringe for a moment.
Obviously, the person you’re with sees more than what you see. We are so accustomed to seeing ourselves that we forget how truly beautiful each of us are.
And honestly, don’t sweat it. If they feel like talking to another girl then fuckkkkkk them.
I recently watched something on Facebook. Some guy was giving a speech about something (I know, full of information over here) and he brought up our fascination with wanting someone when we learn they don’t really want us. How not wanting us SHOULD NOT be a turn on. They don’t want you? MOVE ON. Don’t try to convince them. Don’t try to talk yourself into thinking that they do. Accept it for what it is and move on with your bad self.